Seriously SPURS: Nuno gets the sack. And $20 million.

It’s prom night and you’re all dressed up and ready to go. Your date is a go-getter with lofty ambitions, and you’re pleased as punch to be on their arm.

But - there’s a catch. You weren't their first choice. Or their second. Or even their third.You got the call because FOUR other people said no - and everyone at the prom knows it. 
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Still wanna go?
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That’s the situation Nuno Espirito Santo found himself in back in June, when he got the top job at Tottenham Hotspur.

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Spurs had very publicly approached four other candidates - but there were actually SEVEN prefered ‘prom dates’ on the list.
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Leipzig’s Julian Nagelsmann was snapped up by Bayern Munich, Erik ten Hag signed a new contract at Ajax, and Brendan Rodgers ruled himself out of the running at Leicester.

Then ex-Spurs boss Mauricio Pochettino briefly considered a return from PSG, before formal talks with Antonio Conte, Paulo Fonseca and Gennaro Gattuso all broke down, one by one.

After that, the only candidates left - even in theory - was the deputy-Manager of a local Starbucks; Ted Lasso - either in character or as real life actor Jason Sudeikis; or ex-Tottenham legend Danny Blanchflower - who had been dead since 1993 .

Spurs were actually thinking of dissolving the club altogether and joining a local pub league instead, when someone remembered a Portuguese guy they’d chatted to about football at the dog park.

After an exhaustive search, three different Portuguese dog-owners were formally offered the role, before Nuno Espirito Santo turned up at the Spurs stadium to deliver an Amazon order and was given a two year contract on the spot

So the whole thing was basically pretty awkward. Spurs looked bad. Nuno looked gullible. And by the time ‘El Sack-ico’ rolled around the writing was already on the wall.

How did Ole Gunnar Solskjaer escape the chop at Man Utd? What was the do-or-die strategy that kept him in his job?

Was it Switching to a back three?

Was it changing to a front two?

Was it using high-flying wingbacks to galivinse a midfield 5?  

Nope. Ole’s job-saving strategy was just to play Spurs...

On Monday Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy sacked Nuno, which sucks for him. And his family. And his dog. But he also received a 20 million dollar severance package - which officially DOES NOT suck in any way whatsoever.

WOW.

So maybe the question we started with should have been: would you want to be a fourth-choice date for 20 million dollars?

And when you put it like that maybe Nuno did end up prom-queen after all. Or Prom-manager. Or Spurs-queen.